Operation Transcendence: Rules of Engagement

On the first day of my Vipassana meditation course, I had a private opening ceremony with a white-gowned nun and an orange-robed monk. It was conducted entirely in pali which, along with Sanskrit, is to Buddhism what Latin is to Catholicism. Little did I know that I would be expected to read my vows on the fly in this antiquated language. I made three offerings of flowers, incense, and candles to the monk, Buddha and the teachings, and committed myself to the ‘eight precepts’ that would govern my conduct at the temple:

1) To refrain from killing any living being (easy enough, but includes mosquitoes and room-invading armies of ants)
2) To refrain from taking what isn’t given (alrighty)
3) To refrain from inappropriate speech (lying, slander, or discussing our own meditation with others)
4) To refrain from sexual misconduct (no problem)
5) To refrain from taking harmful intoxicating substances (beer and…caffeine?)
6) To refrain from eating after 12pm and before 6am (um… what’s that you say? That’s right, only breakfast and lunch. No dinner allowed.)
7) To only wear white clothes and refrain from wearing jewelry, accessories, etc. (see prison uniforms) and to refrain from distractions from meditation (books, music, internet… anything non meditation-related, not allowed)
8) To refrain from luxurious seats and beds (foreshadowing my sleeping arrangements)

And finally, though it wasn’t an actual precept, we had to abide by one final kicker of a rule:

9) To refrain from sleeping outside of the hours of 10pm to 4am (are you serious?)

So there you have it. For two weeks, my day was something like this:

Wake up to the beating of the temple gongs and accompanying barking of the 2 dozen resident dogs at 4am. Meditate until 6am. Eat Breakfast. Meditate until 9am. Morning meeting with instructor. Meditate until 11am. Eat Lunch. Meditate until 10pm. Go to sleep.

A few things need to be noted about this schedule. The first is that this was literally it. Apart from walks and breaks between meditations, there was nothing else to be done as per rule #6. Secondly, look at the schedule between lunch and bed. By the time it’s 12pm, you’re hit with the terrifying realization that you still have 10 hours to kill before your day ends. The third is that there’s no dinner. No eating for 18 hours straight daily. Call it a warm-up for my participation in Ramadan this year.

No coffee, no beer, no dinner (let alone eating after noon), no books or entertainment, and waking up at 4am every day for 15 days. I broke so many personal records there that my backpack should be covered with ribbons and medals for the rest of my trip.